Brand New Non-tank Products

Okay, calm down…there are a whack of non-tank related Sea Monkey products coming out in the very near future! Yay! Finally, you can show your love of Sea Monkeys with your Sea Monkey underpants (I’m wearing mine right now…) or Sea Monkey action figures! If you have any questions about these new products, please contact
The Sea Monkey Lady for more information, or to tell me about locations at which you found these products (there will be a list in the near future…but considering they aren’t in stores yet, I can’t really tell you anything…unless you want me to make stuff up…which I am good at!)

Your Barbie doll finally has a friend more interesting than that stupid bland Ken!

Sea Monkey Action Figures!

I have to admit that it has been the bane of my existence that I have not been able to play with my Sea Monkeys outside of the confines of their tiny briny tank…And now I can! These very cool action figures from
can be placed in any highly visible location — your desk, your room, your car dashboard — so you can tell the world that you love Sea Monkeys! But please, don’t keep them in the plastic box so you can collect and sell them at a later date…remember, they need to be aerated at least twice a day! Coming soon!

Now your Sea Monkey friend not only entertains but cleans up messy spills and leaks!

Sea Monkey Sponge Creatures!

Have you ever thought to yourself “I like Sea Monkeys, but they just aren’t big enough?” Then ask that question no longer. The new Sea Monkey Sponge Creatures (not the real name of the product…just the product of my fevered imagination) grow up to 6 times larger than shown on the package! So large that even your little sister will grow to fear our briny friends! Like their real life brethren, you just add water and watch them grow instantly into a colossal size that will scare your enemies
and entertain your friends! This product will be found soon at Hot Topics across the United States.

Replace those 80’s Underoos with the coolest underpants in town!

Sea Monkey Underpants!

Are you one of those people who is constantly offered “wedgies” by your classmates or co-workers? Do you find yourself exposing your undergarments those around you when doing such mundane things as bowling or making grilled cheese sandwiches? Don’t be embarrassed by those outdated Jockey shorts — get yourself a set of Sea Monkey undergarments and be the coolest guy in the office! (Just remember, people might be actively trying to get a peek at your unmentionables once they know you have
these, so be prepared for the popularity and adulation you will receive once the word is out!) Seriously seriously cool!