This page is intended for new and negative “Bad” Sea Monkey Poetry.To qualify as “negative” poetry a poem must include negative /wp-content/themes/sea-monkey/images of Sea Monkeys, mutant and/or freakish Sea Monkeys or a mangled Sea Monkeys, and/or the purposeful killing of a Sea Monkey. These poems fit this criteria.



My sea monkeys are alive right now.
But I’m running out of food for them.
I bet they never even liked that green stuff anyway.

The first one that died was eaten by the rest.
Soon there will be only one left.
And it will slowly waste away.

My sea monkeys refuse to breed.
I think they are the last of a forgotten race.
That is on the highway to extinction.

My last sea monkey died today.
Because it found out

Submitted by Sergio Cornaga, New Zealand

“Sea Monkeys Can’t Outrun the Law”

Sea Monkeys can’t hold guns
Sea Monkeys can hardly run
But when the five-0 is coming
They know their time is done.

Dedicated in memory of our departed sea monkeys and to the police chief who so abruptly ended their lives.

Submitted by Sphincter Boy and Monkey Girl

a haiku:

my mutant monkey
sadly, you are all that’s left
too bad you scare me

Submitted by alexis

Untitled haiku

Sea monkeys swirl
round and round
in my blender tornado of doom

Submitted by Dan Bogus

You Should Have Told Me

I sit on your couch
You lecture me in that damn way
Talking about dormant critters
Like they were the second coming

I see the telltale blue plastic
I go over and look
I pick up the sacred container
And say, I feed these to my fish

I expect the top to stay put
So I turn over your jewel
And the resurrected creatures
Spill out onto the floor

Oops, sorry about that
As a tear rolls down your face
I see that it will be a while
Before you get over your divorce

Submitted by Dee Smith

Funky Monkey

I walk to the store and a SeaMonkey is what I got,
but what I didn’t expect with the monkey i bought.
He was weird, mishaped, and funky,
“OH NO” I yelled; “I got a Funky Monkey!”.
He was green not pink,
He wore a coat made of Mink
Who was I to blame?,
this monkey thought he had fame.
I tried to get a refund,
but what they did to us is make fun.
I had to keep this SeaMonkey,
we knew that all he would be is a Funky Monkey.

Submitted by Nicole R.


The owl and the pussy cat went to sea in a beautiful pea green boat.

Seas grew rough – began to churn,
lashing winds began to burn,
a tempest fierce our neptune raised.
While in the depths sea monkeys played,
gleeful in their happy way,
soon to savour, a cat,
…. and a bird of prey.

Submitted by MG


scared lil seamonkey

run lil seamonkey,run
oh you have no feet

now you must die !!!!

Submitted by Jeremy Ways

Ode To A Lazy Chef

Sea Monkeys on toast
Not quite the Sunday roast.

Submitted by Mauggie Knight (pronounced K-ni-ggit)

Seamonkeys At Dawn!

They watch, they wait, they listen
Sea Monkeys at Dawn
They think, they wait, they giggle
Sea Monkeys at Dawn

Who will stop them
Who can know
How to defeat such a terrible foe?

They watch, they wait, they listen
Sea Monkeys at dawn

I cry out in rage and pain
Will I ever be free again?
I must stay with them
Dumping in the growth food
Sea Monkey’s at dawn

I begin to resent them
Hating them for thier neediness
Much like a girl I once dated
Couldn’t flush her though
But she reminds me of
The Sea Monkeys at Dawn

“Set me free you devils!”
I scream at the sky,
waving the pointy stick of uselesness
About me and in a threatening way
to the Sea Monkey’s at dawn

I wait, I watch, I listen
for the Sea Monkey’s at Dawn.

By Ian “I’m okay now” Gibbs
C 2001 – Gibber Productions Look for Ian’s other poems in his compilation “The other side of lunacy” from Syko Books. Ian now resides in Victoria where he is kept mostly in a dark room, away from pointy objects.


Looky, looky, sea monkey me
Swimming in my green algae sea
Flipping, flitting, locking my horns
Making my own sea monkey porn

Submitted by Brian for Christia

Sea of Monkeylove

See a sea of monkeys
swimming swiftly in the brine
‘Tis the zen of fish bowl magic
which softly soothes the monkey mind

Monkey sea, monkey dew
Can you feel my love for you

Dew the morning droplets
have gathered ‘neath a broken tank
Like the great Titanic
my tiny shrimp hath sank

Monkey sea, monkey dew
Time to say goodbye to you

Where have all the monkeys gone?
To the zoo? Upon the vine?
Only a faded memory of love and
monkeys I can’t find

Monkey sea, monkey dew
Nothing left but love for you

Submitted by Susan Maltby


I did love my sea monkeys, but now they are gone,
I’m not sorry to say their destruction was fun.

It was their fault!
It was their fault!

We attempted to bond over Doctor Who.
They did not like it (neither do you).

It was their fault!!
It was their fault!!

How do you like being my cloudy water now, sea monkeys?

Submitted by LeeSa Good


Sea monkeys: germs.
Sea monkeys: race hatred.
Sea monkeys: crack babies.
Sea monkeys: foul odors.
Sea monkeys: asteroid collisions.
Sea monkeys: Communism.
God, I love sea monkeys.

Submitted by Vine Smith

Sea monkey no go

I watched them swim
then realised
that even sea monkeys must die
sea monkey born
sea monkeys life make me cry
sea monkey not invincible

Submitted by Aditya Jacob

Sea Monkeys

Chorus: As I sleep in my bed,
Sea Monkeys float through my head,
They are stalking me,
It is frightening

Little fungus that I grow in a jar
I bought them in England, a land from afar
And now they want revenge for leaving their home
And they want me to end up in a catacomb


One night I wake up to find a knife by my bed,
And the Sea Monkeys still dancing around my head,
And I fill with a fear that runs straight through my soul
And it seems to leave some kind of emotional hole
Frying my brain I can the feel the pain,
The Sea Monkeys are trying to make some kind of a gain
A psychological battle; it’s all in my head
And yet it makes me wish that I was dead


There is no escape, all hope is doomed
The Master Sea Monkey above my bed loomed,
I am now but a mindless mental slave
I’ve just dug my very own grave
Into which I can toss my old life and free will
My mind is nearly a blank, it reads out “KILL”
I am now one of the Sea Monkeys, going about doing devilish things
I wish I could escape, if only I had wings
They have taken over my body and mind,
The gears of my brain begin to grind
Its shutting down and comes a new perspective,
A view that I am part of some kind of collective
An organized group, a sophisticated crime ring;
Won’t somebody help me- someone or something.

Submitted by Craphead

If you have a poem that you would like to see included on the Sea Monkey Bad Poetry Pages please submit it to the Sea Monkey Lady.